Christmas with Clark/Lana, Clark/Lex, Clark/Chloe (not all at once!)

by LaCasta

Do it and I'll visualize your favorite character giving you a footrub.

Bickering down the years: A disutopian view of Smallville holidays.


"I wish my parents were here." Lana said the words out loud, Clark and the rest of the Talon staff mouthed them along with her. "They loved Christmas so much, the ornaments, the trees, the perfect white snow as though meteors wouldn't come crashing down and kill them."

"So how many people did you invite this year to fill the gaping hole in your heart?"

"Three hundred and ninety-eight."

"And they'll all fit in the Talon."

"It's up to fire code!"

"Lana, for God's sake, don't say that kind of thing. It means we'll be hearing fire trucks instead of silver bells by the end of the episode."

"My parents loved `Silver Bells.'"

"Your parents never should have loved at all," Clark muttered.

"What's that?"

"Your parents loved you."

She looked up at him tenderly and confidingly, eyes, lips, and teeth glowing. They shared the same thought. "The moment plot devices let me, I am so out of this relationship."


"Yeah, like it'd really kill you to spend Christmas with my family." Clark sulked, lower lip sticking out. Lex considered using it as a coat hanger.

"If your dad had his way, it would! `Lex, take a look under the tractor to see if you can figure out what's wrong while I start it.' `Lex, help me clean the shotgun.' Clark, he's not what I'd call reconciled to our relationship."

"Like your father is any better? `So, Clark, I've got an opening in the World Domination Project you'd be perfect for.' `Stop asking me what I want for Christmas. You never kill anybody for me and that's all I want.'"

"Yeah? At least he doesn't make his lips do that pursey thing when we snuggle like your mom does!"

"No, he calculates just how much money you could have been making while you were kissing me. Out loud. And then you had to convert it into yen, Euros, and Canadian dollars, just to show off for him."

"Eh, let's compromise and pretend we forgot."


"Santa does anagram to `Satan,' you know."

"Not the man with the presents!" Clark looked at her with his "I am a childlike and innocent being with an affinity to all kinds of symbols" expression.

"I'm writing an expose on his use of elf labor."

"I'll help you!"

"You put all those illustrations of Lana in the last ten articles you wrote, including the one on the fertilizer plant. God, you're oblivious!"

"Sorry, what was that?"

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