by kHo

He's thinner. His hair isn't as thick. His face is more angular. His smile isn't as genuine. But damn it all if Lex doesn't think how remarkably Clark-like Adam is when he first lays eyes on him.

It's easy to forget that fact when he speaks to him. Adam is to the point, he's direct. He's sarcastic and caustic. He's perverse, and amused at other people's expense. Nothing like Clark at all.

He likes to argue with him, finds himself amused at how unflappable Adam is. How self-assured he is, how convinced he is that he isn't wrong. How much of a shit he doesn't give when it's proven he is.

He likes to watch him play piano, likes the way his eyes catch Lex's and don't waver. How his mouth turns up in a smirk, taunting him. Bet you wish you could play like this, they say. Bet you wish you could play with me.

But when he's just sitting there, when he's reading, when he's laughing, Lex sees Clark. He gets distracted by the differences, but if he lets his mind go, he can see Clark in his place. It's not hard, and it happens too often.

He's known for a long time that he's wanted Clark. He accepted a long time ago that his love for Clark is not just platonic. He's not self deluded enough to think that his obsession with Clark is solely about finding out the truth. He's also not stupid enough to think his quest to discover Adam's secret is really about Adam at all.

When he finally kisses Adam, he's not nearly as disturbed as he thinks he should be that in his mind he's picturing Clark. He's not nearly as disgusted with himself as he wants to be that when Adam's nails dig into his back Clark's name almost escapes his lips.

It's easy to seduce Adam, easier than he wants it to be. He wants to have to fight for it. He wants to have to convince him. He can't help but think to himself that Clark would never give in this easily. It doesn't stop him from fucking him though.

He pushes the thoughts away as he slides into him, thoughts about how much prettier Clark would be like this. How his muscles would bunch and clench when Lex hits the spot that makes him shudder. He tries to ignore their presence and is almost successful.

He feels guilty when it's over though, and he can't even watch Adam get dressed. He feels like his face is on fire as Adam's eyes pass over him and his fists clench by his side. He wishes he felt badly for Adam, he wishes he felt the guilt of using him.

Instead he feels guilt over betraying a boy that never knew he felt this way about him to begin with.

Adam's smile is a sneer as he leaves him, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "Substitutions never wind up working out, Lex," he says as he pauses at the door. "They always disappoint."

Lex thinks it's a shame that Adam looks so much like Clark from a distance. He might have actually liked him.

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