Psychoses

by kHo


takes place after season 4 ep /Onyx./ in case it's not clear, that contained between the /slashes/ is Evil!Lex. LOL.


/Ah. Yet another lie on the boy's tongue. For someone who lies so much, you'd think he'd be better at it./

Get out of my head.

/I'm not in your head, I'm in you. I <B>am/ you./

No you're not. You're a figment of my imagination.

/No, Lex. I'm really not. I'm you. The real you./

You're not.

/I am. What did you think? You thought I was created by the meteor? Oh no. No, that's what you hoped. But you know. You know I wasn't./

I don't know anything. That's why I'm studying it.

/What's there to study? Just accept it. I'm a part of who you are. I'm the part that's going to make you great./

You're the part that's going to ruin me.

/That's just a matter of perspective./

You're not a part of me. You're a part of everyone. Everyone has an id.

/And you're what, the ego? The superego? You've always been so good at denial. I haven't decided if it's your greatest weakness or your greatest attribute./

I'm not in denial--

/Oh, Lex, honestly. You're in denial about everything! About me. About your father. About yourself./

What do I have to do to get you to shut up?

/It's simple. Just listen to me./

I am.

/No you're not. You're denying the truth, and it's right before your very eyes./

I don't deny the truth, I seek it. Not everything is as it appears.

/Like Clark? Clark's not what he appears is he?/

Leave Clark out of this.

/Oh, but Clark is what this is all about, Lex. Clark is the key./

This conversation is over.

/I'm not one of your board members, Lex. You can't turn me off so easily./

No, but I know what makes you go away.

/Drugs? Alcohol? Always turning to the weakness. God. You are so fucking weak./

Shut up.

/Haven't you heard, Lex? The easiest way to get rid of your nightmares is to face them. The best way to get rid of an enemy is to turn and face them, head on./

I thought you weren't my enemy. I thought you were inside of me.

/Ah. So it appears he has been listening./

I always listen. I just don't accept people at their word.

/Not even yourself?/

You are not me!

/I'm the proverbial better half, Lex./

You're the proverbial psychotic episode!

/Then I suppose you should check yourself into Belle Reeve. Again. For your own sanity, of course. Just... watch out for the shock therapy. I hear it can be pretty... unforgettable./

I don't need to go to Belle Reeve, I just need to get you out of my head!

/Ah, that's right. It's not a real psychotic break until you start remembering Julian--/

SHUT UP!

/Ah. Julian. Our baby brother. You say you don't deny the truth Lex, but... how long was it that you denied the truth about our dear baby brother?/

Shut. Up.

/But we idolized our mother, didn't we? Refused to see that she too has flaws./

She was protecting me.

/Yes. She was. From our father. Because she knew that sometimes you have to do what it takes./

Shut up.

/Sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the greater good. She made you stronger. She murdered our baby brother so that you could live--/

Stop. Please.

/Or. Perhaps she just passed on her weakness to you. Perhaps that was her legacy./

Mother was not weak!

/Wasn't she though? Wasn't she weak, Lex? She could have not let him inside of her. She could have aborted the baby. She could have left our father. She could have swooped both you and he up in her loving arms and carted you away./

He would have found us.

/Perhaps. He may have. He's always been resourceful, hasn't he? But don't you think she should have extended that courtesy to our brother? The chance to live?/

Stop it.

/You've lived your life so long trying to earn what she did for you. And you continuously fall short. Do you know why that is?/

Shut up.

/Because it's not in your nature. You're a Luthor, you are your father's son. You might as well stop denying it./

I will never be my father.

/No. You won't. You'll be so much greater than him. The power he has will be dwarfed by yours./

No.

/Yes, Lex. Accept your fate. Stop trying to be the son that your mother wanted, you don't have it in you. Stop trying to be the good Samaritan, the man to be trusted. It will get you nowhere./

That's not true. Plenty of good men make it far in life.

/But you're not Jonathon Kent, Lex. It's not where you're strength lies./

I didn't say anything about Jonathon Kent

/You didn't have to, Lex. I'm inside of you, remember? I know your deepest wishes and desires. And you'll never be Jonathon. You'll never be Clark./

You don't know that. I can change my fate, I am in control of my own destiny.

/You're living a lie, Lex. This isn't who you are. I am./

No. At worst, you're merely a part of who I could become. At best, you're my paranoia.

/I've done nothing but go after what you've always wanted. Lana. Clark. Power. Control./

I don't want it at the cost you were willing to pay. I won't force the people I love to bend under my control.

/Not even the ones that lie to you?/

He doesn't want to. He has to. He's afraid. He doesn't know he can trust me yet. I haven't proven he can.

/He's right though, isn't he? He can't./

Yes he can.

/What's his secret Lex? Why is he always there? Why is he so indestructible? What's his weakness? What's his strength?/

I don't know.

/That's not the point, Lex. The point is... if you were someone he could trust, you wouldn't be obsessing over the answers to those questions./

I have a curious mind.

/That's one way of putting it./

He can trust me.

/To what? To exploit him? To use him for your own purposes?/

No.

/You're so pathetic, Lex. You don't even know what's inside of yourself, how do you expect to understand what's inside of other people?/

He can.

/That's what I'm for, though. I can help you. I can give you all the things you've always wanted. Together, we can rule the world./

All I want is to be loved. That's all I've ever really wanted.

/Oh, Lex. You'll never have that. Don't you know that by now?/



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