Title: Language of Techno-Love
Rated: R, language
Characters: Clark/Lex, peripheral Chloe Notes: Inspired by the loveliness of goddessleila's Telephone Tag fic(http://www.livejournal.com/community/sv_flashfiction/4612.html), I did this: lots and lots of text messages. Futurefic, no spoilers. 864 words.
[ language of techno-love ]
What? When have you ever had Cantonese food? Where in Metropolis is there Cantonese takeout?
Oh, is that what we were doing? I thought you were just naming cultures.
Yes, Clark. That's what I do in my spare time. Name cultures. It's right up there with saying `hey, look, shiny!'
I don't know, Lex. You do like the shiny.
Ok. Let's keep this simple. I'm in a mtg. Do. You. Want. Chinese. Food?
When? Ever? Cause sure, I'm sure I'll want Chinese food in the future. I guess I'm just wondering if you're asking me if I want it tonight for dinner, or if you're offering to make Chinese food forever unavailable.
Oh. You're offering me ass tonight? How can I resist?
IM IN A MEETING!!!
Oh, I see, so you're bored. Ok. Just sit back and imagine all the sex we'll be having when you get home. When I'll slam you up against the wall and lick away all the stress you accumulated in said meeting. (Chloe says that's only fair if she gets to watch.)
Chloe's more than welcome to watch. As I rip your dick off and feed it to you!
That doesn't sound very fun. To either of us. Then again, Chloe's laughing pretty loud right now, so I might be misinterpreting.
Clark. I'm in a meeting. Stop. Teasing. Me.
Hey. You're the one who keeps answering. You're in control here. Just put the phone down and ignore me.
You were supposed to ignore that message, and bitch some more about me annoying you. I didn't really annoy you did I?
I'm sorry, Lex, don't be mad. Please?
I'm not angry, Clark, I was just following your advice. Put the phone down. Now. Stop.
I knew pretending to be upset would get you to answer. I so own you.
That's okay. I own Metropolis.
Yeah. But I get more for my money.
Chloe says that was really cheesy, and that's why you're not answering. Except she doesn't know you like it when I'm cheesy.
For fuck's sake, do you want Chinese food or not? Chloe likes Chinese doesn't she?
Chloe says she likes Bruce Lee, but she's not sure if he's Chinese or Japanese.
Food, Clark. Concentrate. What do you want to eat? I'm heading out now.
Oh. No fair. You don't get to text message Chloe!
Well you weren't answering. And since you weren't answering, that means Chloe and I will be eating sushi, and you'll be sitting there staring at us complaining about raw fish and bacteria. Which is asinine when you know damn well that, raw or not, it won't hurt you.
Just because I'm invulnerable doesn't mean I have to eat gross food.
It's not gross, it's a delicacy.
It's fuckin' octopus.
Narrow minded, Clark. So very, very narrow minded.
There's a deli next to the sushi place on 9th. They have meatball subs there. That's what I want.
Oh, you lost the ability to choose when you decided to ignore my query. Chloe responded immediately. Therefore, Chloe wins.
I hate Chloe. I'm kicking Chloe out.
You do that. More sushi for me.
Alright, fine. Chloe's staying. But I don't want sushi.
I'm already at the sushi bar, Clark. You're too late.
I hate you.
Your mouth says you hate me, but your body says you love me. And, as much as I love your mouth, I think I love your body more.
Chloe says that's sexual harassment. I could sue you.
I'm fairly certain it's not considered sexual harassment when just the night before you did that thing with your tongue.
We're back to Chloe saying that's not fair unless she gets to watch.
I never knew what a pervert Chloe was.
She says she's not perverted, just without a boyfriend, so get off her back.
Ah. Well tell her perhaps I'll lone her one of our tapes. You know the ones. Our `best hits.'
Great, Lex. Now she thinks there's actually amateur porn of us. She's literally searching our video cabinet.
She should know me better than that. It wouldn't be amateur, and I'd certainly never hide it in the video cabinet.
Lex. You don't actually have tapes do you?
Is it possible I forgot to tell you that?
Come down here and help me carry this stuff in.
How much sushi did you get?!
Not that much, but there's a bag full of chips and three meatball subs, so...
YOU'RE THE BEST LEX, I LOVE YOU!
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