"Moooo," said Bessie.
"Yes, your highness," said her favorite human slave as he took his wheelbarrow and lovingly put the grain and grass in front of her royal stall. He had an earring and a small brand on his butt so he was identified as part of the herd that served her needs.
Bessie blinked her big brown eyes and smiled or came as close as a cow could smile. Ever since she had been struck by lightning while licking a very strange tasting green salt lick while her favorite slave's son was about to carry her back home, she had gained mysterious powers. She could fly, nearly but not quite jump over the moon and was extremely strong. The boy had tried to stop her but failed miserably as she smacked him thirty feet with a kick from her left hind leg.
While running around and raiding grain supplies all over Smallville, she saw a strange octagon stone on the ground. After she put it in her mouth, she was filled with this strange urge to go to the caves. It was strange because caves don't have grass or grain or other interesting things to eat. But off she went.
Once there, she was struck again by lightning that was rainbow-colored and began to understand Kryptonian. There, she was told by a voice she now understood that it was her duty to rule the world with an iron hoof.
"Moo?" she said as she was taken into a small chamber where she floated around for a good while.
When she came out months later, she surprised a young billionaire by flying next to his jet then busting in to steal a crystal. The Inquisitor ended up publishing reports of flying cows. It was a good thing she was bulletproof considering how many drunken hunters took a shot at her as she flew through the air. She "rewarded" each of them with a steaming cowpie.
After dropping the last crystal in its slot, she found herself in the Arctic watching a strange crystalline barn appear in the snow. Moo-El told her that she must submit and be trained for her new role as Cow-El. She didn't mind that much but she rather resented the large brand he gave her. "Mooooooooo!"
With her herd of fellow krypto-cows, she trampled the opposition and lived happily ever after, not ever having to feed herself ever again.
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